yamanai ame da neeee

Saturday, January 07, 2006

been busy. orientation beat the shits out of me can. haha..
qt tiring.. think i cant get used to this school thing. usually no school is sort of wake up at 11 and sleep at 2!

ok hm.. what to say? i feel qt.. weird.
like i miss orientation but i also didnt really enjoy it.
dunno why.. as in my tribe ppl were qt not bad just tt i didnt really talk to them?
i dont know how to talk to ppl lah seriously. when was the last time i tried making friends?? pri 4? sec 1? omg. just couldn't fit in.. felt displaced.
in the old days we all sort of just knew each other!
i cant remb how i did it..
now i have to let everyone know who i am agn..
expose myself to them. erm you know...?
feel so insecure and self conscious..
gosh its really qt bad..
i say 'i love this' or 'this is so great'
and they really think i like it lah. how to talk to them?!
then i cant say 'very!' or.. i dunno. they dont seem to like it when i go oh my god.
wth. how?
and my friend doesn't know what's nipple ok. omg... i feel so embarrassed just typing it.
hahah and she ask me 'what's that?' am i supposed to explain?! hahah..!

ok yes ahem anw... ok actually i sort of know why i miss it but didnt enjoy it.
i liked it when we weren't that involved with our tribe ppl. like clan stuff lah.. and all the micco and walla thing. qt fun. until now the cheer's still stuck in my head.
walla you sexy you make me woo! hahah..
but hai..the making friends part really kills my spirit.
i just dunno how lah. what can i do?
i'm not anti social and boring ok! but i bet everyone thinks i am. shit lah.
i've nvr felt so alone in my freaking life as i can rmb it. wah lao.
and then i miss sn and tt just makes everything worst cause i cant help but feel depressed when i think abt it :/
i'm crazy. whats wrong with me??

hai..yest was the last day. during the disco time i couldnt wait for it to end.
my poor feet got stepped on so many times.
then aft that i didnt want to go home :/
cause of the songs. felt so warm and so.. touched.
seriously this is conflicting personalities man.
you're just the best i ever had..
couldnt help but go awww....
altho we're their only batch but aiyah still very sweet mah.
and then later when we left i sort of said bye to the hall and some ogl waved back.
hahaha she thought i was waving to her lah. hm... hahaha...

today we went back for cca fair. the gateway was floating in the air. nice.
my heart jumped a beat when i saw it even though its really got nothing to do with me anymore.
hai.. oh well i had my shares of scares in gateway.
anww.. met everyone. omg soooo nice i tell you.
talked and laughed. the company was great. everyone knows who i truly am.. i love that feeling and i miss it alot alot alot. i felt so relieved.. at least i still have friends who knows the real me.. laughs at my jokes. knows what i'm saying omg. i had no idea we had so much in common until i saw ppl who were so different. (namely, ppl in innova)
went to 4 u to take pics and i kept on tearing.. haha so dumb right? for a fleeting second i felt that i had my old life back again.
found my table with the funny face winnie drew for me.. we took nice photos.. talked abt all those lame crap we did there..
it was the best day of the past few month.
i love guides.
and i love 4 unity.

7:19 PM